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Unwanted comments about one鈥檚 weight or appearance are certainly not limited to the holidays, but inevitably become more common as rarely-seen relatives all meet up for family reunions during winter break. Even if these statements don鈥檛 mean to put someone on the spot, they can enormously affect the way one feels about themselves for the rest of their holidays and perhaps far beyond.

AP Psychology teacher Warren Collier believes these comments can spike in both frequency and effect during the holiday season. 鈥淒uring the holidays we see lots of people that we haven鈥檛 seen in a long time鈥攑eople who care about us and people we care about鈥攕o their opinions of us matter to us,鈥� he said. 鈥淸These] couple of months, people are being very cognizant of how they鈥檙e looking and dressing, making it a time of year when people are especially sensitive to those kinds of comments.鈥�

Mental Health and Wellness Coordinator Michelle Ramos also believes that such comments can be damaging. 鈥淩egardless of where a person is with their body image, [degrading comments] can bring about guilt or shame, and can definitely tap into insecurities that were already there or that they weren鈥檛 aware of,鈥� she said. 鈥淸They] can contribute to negative self-perception and negative self talk.鈥�

Despite the negativity commonly associated with it, gaining weight during the holiday season is a perfectly natural phenomenon. Living Skills teacher Jeanette Tucker compares it to evolutionary adaptation. 鈥淭here are different articles you can read about what we do in the winter as people,鈥� she said. 鈥淭here鈥檚 less daylight and it鈥檚 cold, so we tend to want to eat and sleep. And we鈥檙e somewhat like a bear, where we鈥檙e hibernating to some extent,鈥� Tucker said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a cyclic, normal thing to do.鈥�

Often, when someone feels bad about themselves, they project that feeling onto others. While some of the comments definitely can鈥檛 be justified, it鈥檚 helpful to keep in mind that other people are also struggling. 鈥淸Recognize] that sometimes those comments have less to do with them, and more about the person saying it,鈥� Ramos said.
Comments about appearance can also come from a place of love and concern, regardless of how insensitive they can come off as. 鈥淚n American culture, especially in young people, those are comments that are seen as criticisms and that they鈥檙e not received into a certain norm,鈥� Collier said. 鈥淲hereas from a lot of the older generations, it鈥檚 a way to express care because they鈥檙e like 鈥極h, I care about you and I care about whether you鈥檙e eating enough,鈥欌�攖here鈥檚 a big cultural clash that can happen there, with the intention that certain older people have with those comments versus how it鈥檚 received.鈥�

Although these comments can be challenging to sit with, there are methods to healthily do so. 鈥淛ust taking a minute and stopping [to realize] it鈥檚 probably not so much a personal attack on me, even though it feels that way, [can help],鈥� Ramos said. 鈥淚f that doesn鈥檛 work, it鈥檚 important just to mentally prepare. If you know you鈥檙e going to have to be in certain situations, emotionally preparing yourself for what might come and maybe having a script to deflect those comments and have something positive to say back like 鈥極h, I鈥檓 doing great.鈥欌��

In the past, Collier has had experience with such comments and he finds himself able to cope with them effectively. 鈥淚 remind myself of where they are coming from,鈥� he said. 鈥淭hey are doing this out of a place of showing love and concern rather than trying put me down.鈥�